Anatomy of a Romance Scam
BY KERRY TOMLINSON, AMPERE NEWS
September 15, 2021
A fake fire. A staged suicide. Romance scammers will use brutal psychological tactics to suck money out of their victims.
A victim shares her story in a particularly savage case that combined deep emotional manipulation and technological trickery to take all her savings. The pain that follows may be even more intense than the scam itself.
Watch here:
Perfect Match
They met on a dating app, Bumble, before the pandemic.
Elizabeth ---not her real name --- in Georgia. Just retired and ready to travel.
Michael, a widower. CEO of M Oil and Gas Contractors. Also in Georgia, but often traveling, speaking with what she thought was an Italian accent.
"He wanted to retire in a year, wanted to sell his business to either Exxon or BP," she said. "He was excited because he had finally met someone that he thought he would be interested in in me."
He called her almost every day, for almost an hour, sending multiple daily text messages and email as well, turning from friendship into love.
"I did for a moment think, 'Gee, this is going a bit fast for me.' And I said, 'Well, I think we need to just take it slow, we haven't met.'"
They were both traveling and had trouble meeting in person, but he seemed devoted.
"One of the first emails that he wrote me was actually quite beautiful," Elizabeth said. "It was quite beautiful, about I had saved him from the darkness of the days that he had been through, through losing his wife through some business ventures that didn't go through. He said, 'I have been depressed, I have been sad. And you have helped me through those times.'"
Psychological Tricks
All the while, "Michael" was deploying a series of tactics designed to bind Elizabeth to him so she would not only believe him, but ultimately go beyond her own logic and intuition.
She did not know that he had lifted many of his love messages from Facebook and other sites. She did not know Michael Lawrence was fake, a combination of pictures stolen from a real Russian man named Alexei Sitnikov, and a group of scammers working together to take all she had.
Michael told her he was speaking at a conference and sent pictures. But the criminals had copied Alexei's speaking picture and changed the name on the podium. For another conference, they fuzzed out Russian words behind him in the picture. It wasn't Michael who had met with Michelle Obama, it was Alexei.
And then, a test of Elizabeth's faith.
A Test
"One evening, when he called me, there were alarms in the background. And I said, 'What is that?' He said, 'Oh, I must go. It's an emergency. It's a fire alarm. We're having a fire on board the oil rig that he was on.' And I said, 'Oh my god, are you alright?' And he said, 'I don't know, I need to get off. And I'll call you back.' And I said, 'Please call me back, please call me back and let me know you're okay.'"
"I was honestly worried about him," she said. "About two or three hours later, he called me back. And he said there was a fire, but everybody was okay."
She passed their test. She was emotionally invested. And too deep.
Skype Call
A video call with Michael made it seem even more real. His voice was the same as their daily call, with the same accent that she later learned is from West Africa, not Italy.
But the moving, talking video in the call looked like her Michael, a trick yet to be fully explained.
Plan in Motion
"Then one night, he called me and said, 'I need to travel to Bangladesh. I've been awarded a contract by the government in Bangladesh. And before I go there though, I need to go to Denmark, because my father, who has passed away, was a gemologist. And he left me some jewels and an inheritance that I have not claimed,’” Elizabeth said.
From Denmark to Bangladesh. And soon, he said, to an offshore drilling platform. He needed to buy a multi-million dollar oil rig for his business, but could not do the transaction from the platform. He wanted her to talk with his banker, Daniel, to get it done.
"He said, 'I'm stressed. And I need help,'" Elizabeth said. "They plead for help, and you want to be that savior to them. 'I need help. And I need you to work with Daniel to get my rig paid for.'"
Fake Account
After some convincing, she agreed and went to his bank site --- an elaborate fake. He sent her his password and the special log-in code.
And behold, his account reflected the very same travels and transactions he had told her about over the four months of their relationship.
It seemed so real.
She transferred the rig money as he requested. And up popped a message: taxes must be paid.
"He called me that night and said, 'I need your help. I'm going to reach out to my best friends. I have one in Australia, one in Tokyo, they can all provide me some money. Can you help me just a little bit to help me get my rig? Because after this, we will have a life of bliss,'" she said.
She gave. He thanked her. And later asked for more.
She gave everything she had.
The Unraveling
"I was at a doctor's appointment. And I got a call from a bank. It was an investigator in a bank. He said, 'I just want you to know that I'm holding up' --- it was the final payment that I was making. 'Because you've been scammed.' And I didn't believe him," Elizabeth said.
"I was so shocked. I was shaking. I was crying. I called him and I said, 'What have you done to me?' And he said, 'No, don't believe that. It's not a scam. I would never do that to you.' And he had his banker call me. 'It's not a scam. I'm giving my trust fund, also to Michael, because we're trying to help him.'"
It was too late for the first payment, but she decided to stop the second. He called her, crying.
"He blamed it on me that it didn't go through. And he said, 'There's nothing else I can [do], there's no other way out of this.' He said, 'I only have one way out of this.' And I said, 'What are you talking about?' And he said, 'Well, I'm just beyond stressed, and I can't live this way.' This was like 10 o'clock at night. He called me back. And he said, 'I hope one day you'll forgive me for what I'm about to do.' And I heard two gunshot two gunshots. I was in shock, thinking that whoever was the on the other end of the line, really did hurt themselves."
Other players in this sick game called her, saying they were flying to Bangladesh to claim Michael's body.
She called the police.
Falling Apart
Her bond with Michael --- their deep love, intense, life-changing emotion --- crumbled before her. It was never real. It was absolutely devastating.
"I was so shaken, I couldn't go out of my house, I was so ashamed, embarrassed. You go through the trauma, because you can't believe that you do something so silly," she said. "It is so traumatic. It really is. And there are times where you think you don't want to live."
"There's always the hope that at the end of that tunnel, with the help that one always needs through anything traumatic, that you will one day forgive yourself. And I'm not there."
Record Numbers
You may say that you'd never fall for a romance scam. But the numbers show reported romance scams are increasing, especially during the pandemic, with a record high of more than $300 million dollars in losses in2020, according to the Federal Trade Commission.
The scammers use similar storylines and tactics, so if you see anything similar to this story in your own online romance --- or in your friends' or family's --- be very wary.
Elizabeth encourages other victims to report the crimes, even though it may be extremely difficult. Through the support of others, she hopes one day to heal.
